File:Drew Pickles portrait.png

Drew Pickles (full name Andrew Louis "Douchebag" Pickles) is, without a doubt, the gayest man in the entire known universe. He has a mastadonic 300 mile long cock and is the leader of the Barney Bunch and an ally of the Soviet Ronalds.


Andrew Louis "Douchebag" Pickles was born in 1969 (the exact month and date is yet to be known to the public). When he was born, his penis was a whopping 5 miles long! The doctors said it was just a birth defect and say it would shrink to normal size in a few weeks. Boy, they couldn't be wronger.

Young Drew learned all of the gay swellness from his father, Lou Pickles. He taught Drew the many ways of being gay, and how women were horrifying creatures. Drew began jerking off to all the preschool shows on TV at a very early age, too. His slong was about 10 miles long.

When Drew started school, he had a monstrous 20 mile long cock in his pants. He met his bestest butt buddy, Barney, at the bus stop. Barney was turned into the same age as Drew by powers that are very insane. When the school bus arrived, Drew shoved it up his ass like a dildo. When they got to school, Drew hid under his desk because the teacher was a woman, and his father told him all these stories about females that are most unswell.

When Drew was in the 5th grade, his class went to see Star Wars in the theater. Drew started to whack off in the theater and he came so much, it filled the entire movie screen. This got him in trouble with the management, which he raped. It was one of the 1st times Drew would be confronted by managers. He also got his 1st computer, and missed a whole bunch of school just watching all the gay porn on there. That is, till the computer crashed.

Things were getting out of control as Drew continued with his school years. In middle school, he and Barney filled the school swimming pool with cum, turning all who swam in it gay. In high school, he had Sex Ed. Class with Barney, along with Chaz Finster and (his rival in the future), the Pube Muppet. Drew's 1st job out of high school was being a gay stripper at the local gay bar. He made tons of money from being a gay stripper, and bought lots of dildus and gay porn related things. By then, his dick was 169 miles long.

Drew decided to leave the life of being a stripper and get into acting. Beforehand, he married a lesbian named Charlotte, and then had a bitchy daughter named Angelica. But those were some pretty weird times, okay? Drew got his big break when he stared in a gay porno called Drew Pickles and the Goatse Gang, and is claimed to be one of his best pornos. Other ones he starred in are Cocksuckers from Cuba, Dicksickles on Ice!, and Drew's Going Down (but not his Penis Size!).

He and family went to star in the Nickelodeon animated sitcom Rugrats. However, Drew was a minor character and he had to hide his homosexual tendencies and his massive 269 mile long cock. It also interfered with his gay porno schedule. So during season breaks, Drew went to go film his gay pornos with Barney, Ronald McDonald, and Dick the Clown.

Trouble hit when the gay porno industry crashed in 2001. Worse still, the ratings for Rugrats were plummeting at a rate that Drew could get a boner. Out of a job after the show ended in 2004, Drew decided to take action. In 2005, He got together with his old pal, Barney, as well as Ronald and Dick, to form a new homosexual group called the Barney Bunch! That was when his cock grew to it's mastadonic 300 mile long size.

Nowadays, Drew Pickles goes to various places, raping the customers, employees, and the manager, if and ONLY IF they are male. He makes lots of gay pornos online with the Barney Bunch and faces off against many rivals that try to out-gay him or threaten his group.


  • "Hello my name is Drew Pickles."
  • "Bag, that was swell!"
  • "I will show you the true definition of a sick fuck!"
  • "Today I am going to (insert place here)"
  • "Using (insert object here) as dildus"
  • Someone is attempting to steal the dildus!"
  • "Your going to get raped."
  • "Hahahahahahahahahahahahemoha this is swell hahahahahahahahahahahahahemoha gay sex hahahahahahahahahahahahahahemoha faggots hahahahahahahahahahahemoha I'm going to cum soisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoi Bag, that was swell!"


  • Being gay
  • The Barney Bunch
  • Going to random place s and raping the customers, employees, and the manager (assuming they are male)
  • Men, guys, boys, and anything male
  • Gay porn
  • Dildos and other sex toys
  • The number 69


  • Being straight
  • Women, chicks, girls, and anything female
  • Being called a "sick fuck"
  • Those who try to out-gay him
  • Waiting in long ass fucking lines filled with all sorts of stereotypes (which he then proceeds to rape)