Ronald McDonald is the uber INSANE pedophile clown and mascot of the McDonalds restaurant company. He is the head commander of The Soviet Ronalds as well as a former Barney Bunch member. Ronald is well known on the internet for the "Ran Ran Ruu!" meme. His headquarters are at Ronald McDonald Hell
Ronald McDonald was never born. Instead, he EVOLVES! It all started about an hour before the universe began; a portal opened and sucked in a lot of Hyper Stars (power-ups that make you insane). Then, out of the portal, came the bastard called Ronald McDonald! Soon, he started to scout out a planet to build his H.Q on. After countless searching, he found the perfect planet.....Earth.
After the great Dinosaur Extinction (caused by a giant hamburger that fell from the sky), Ronald found 2 surviving dinosaurs. One was purple and called Barney, and another was a genus called Yoshi. Ronald put Yoshi on a separate island, and stuck with Barney for a while. The 2 became swell friends, as they would usually get engaged in rape romp orgies. Soon, the Ice Age began, and Barney became frozen. Ronald had to wait the entire Ice Age for his dinosaur friend to thaw out. He soon got in a conflict with a member of the planet Jupiter called Cucumber Larry and thus started the great Civil War on Jupiter (or CWJ). Ronald killed all the Confederate Jupitarians with the power of Hambuga.
When Ronald woke up one day, he saw that the cake he had the night after he won the CWJ was a lie. Going insane, he shouted his infamous catchphrase "Ran Ran Ruu!" and dark matter came from his hands as he finished. He then found out he can control people's minds, especially children. So Ronald headed for America to hatch a plan: To make the ultimate fast food joint. However, it will take another few hundred years for it to take effect. During his times in America, Ronald met a guy named the Quaker Queer, who made oatmeals from his shit.
It was 1944, and Ronald went back to his Ice Age quarter (which is in Japan) so that he can thaw his long-lost friend Barney from the ice. Once he did, he took his purple dino pal to America. By 1955, Ronald struck a deal with a man named Ray Kroc to form the biggest fast food chain ever. It was Ronald's dream come true! But a man named Colonel Sanders already founded his restaurant, KFC. Both would be eternal rivals.
In 1962, Ronald and Barney were said to have taken a 10 year old boy from a KFC. Years passed, and the kid hasn't been seen ever since. By the months, dozens of kids went missing. Most believed Barney was the suspect, as he is an extensive pedophile. Barney also hasn't come out of Ronald's house since the day the one child went missing. Colonel Sanders soon called the FBI. When the FBI arrived, 2 children were getting raped by Barney and Ronald. Both were charged with child molestation, and sentenced to 3 years in prison. Barney was bailed out by his friend Louis Pickles, but forgot about Ronald. During jail time, Ronald's cousin Scary Ronald was the mascot. Ronald then went on a Ran Ran Ruu spree that lasted till 1968.
Ronald and Barney were good friends. By the time 1971 came, a character known as the Evil Grimace appeared. however, the REAL Grimace had a different story. Barney was horny one day, so Ronald gave him a hand-job. Before Barney's happy juice could splatter, he blasted a nasty fart that blew off one of his testicles. It grew a face and limbs, and there was Grimace! Barney's friend Lou Pickles soon had a son named Drew, which made Barney harder than rock. Ronald soon turned Barney into a 5 year old dinosaur, so he and Drew can become the best of butt-buddies.
Soon enough, McDonald's became the largest restaurant joint ever, and Ronald was happy. Soon, computers were the next great invention, as Ronald bought one himself. By the time the 20th century was over, Ronald had the Internet, and started doing insane things with it.
In 2005, Ronald reunited with Barney and Drew Pickles, as the soon formed a group on Newgrounds called the Barney Bunch. There, he was given the name "Penis Clown" and he met his long lost cousin Dick the Clown. But after a few years, he decided to leave for a while. Ronald soon made an insane video called "Ronald McDonald Insanity" or "McRoll". He found out that the Japanese like it and made so many Insanity videos that it flooded Youtube.
Ronald would find out that his age old enemy, Colonel Sanders, died. But then he was resurrected and Ronald had countless battles with him. Ronald also made a place to keep his insanity called Ronald McDonald Hell, and he also formed his group of insane fucks called the Soviet Ronalds!
As the year 2011 came upon Ronald, he went to make an article about himself on the peaceful Youtube Poop Wiki. There, he met Doodledoug3212, who, along with AwesomeSeaCucumber, guarded the wiki from a troll group known as The Brat Family. The Brat Family caused havoc, but were repelled by the 3. But then, SVG (referred to as The Great Brat King) invaded with his henchman, Techie2013, and started to destroy the articles and pages!
The GBK then banned Doodledoug3212, and AwesomeSeaCucumber revealed himself as a Brat Family member. This upset Ronald so much that he left the YTPW to start his own wiki. He soon found out that SVG was gone, and that Doodledoug3212 was alive (but hadn't returned to the YTPW). The clown also found out that AwesomeSeaCucumber had rebuilt the Youtube Poop Wiki. But this did have a catch, as AwesomeSeaCucumber went insane with power and decided turn the wiki into his own pyramid.
Nowadays, Ronald McDonald, the insane pedophile clown, is having a swell time with the Soviet Ronalds in Ronald McDonald Hell. He recently fell in love with Princess Celestia, has a swell TV series called Soviet Ronalds Unleashed, and has written an autobiography called Ran Ran Ruu! The insane tale of Ronald McDonald. Get it at your local bookstore today!
- McDonalds (obviously)
- The Soviet Ronalds
- The Barney Bunch
- Ronald McDonald Hell and McDonaldland
- Grimace (best friend)
- Happy Meals
- Saying "Ran Ran Ruu!"
- Princess Celestia (he has a super secret crush on her)
- Optimus Prime
- Any restaurant that's NOT McDonalds
- Colonel Sanders (eternal foe)
- Burger King (2nd eternal foe)
- Discord (the 2 never got along...until now!)
- Running out of Happy Meals
- Toad is his nephew.
- Toadette is his niece-in-law.
- Rumors claim that he is related to Princess Cadance! However , the rumors are actually false.
- He's got lots of SWAG and gives it to people.