The AwesomeSeaCucumber Show is a shitty program that airs on The EW Channel. It involves that butthurt nutcase of a troll himself, AwesomeSeaCucumber and his many misadventures in AwesomeSeaCucumber Hell. The show only lasted 2 seasons.
- AwesomeSeaCucumber- The main protagonist of the show, a butthurt, persistent troll who thinks everything is about himself.
- Suiseiseki- The love of ASC's life, she is the most evil being on the planet who loves spamming "Desu" desu.
- Tomo Takino- An illegal Mexican immigrant of Japanese descent with a juice fetish.
- Eric Matthews- A man with serious anger management issues.
- Elmo- A furry red Muppet from the sister program Everybody Hates Elmo. He is rarely seen on the show.
- Navi- An annoying fairy who loves spamming "HEY LISTEN!".
- Spinda- An annoying Pokemon who PenisSpermCucumber is obsessed with.
- The AwesomeSeaCucumber Army- ASC's army of retarded characters.
- Doodledoug3212- The main antagonist of the show, a far superior Wikian who hates ASC's guts.
- RonaldMcMotherF***ingDonald- Doodledoug's INSANE sidekick and a Barney Bunch fanboy.
- DJ 2- A badass koala from Animal Jam. He likes to kick Cucumber's ass!
- Ronald McDonald- The INSANE clown who is the leader of The Soviet Ronalds. He likes to beat the loving shit out of the ASCA.
- Grimace- The living purple testicle who hates ASC with a vengeance.
- Yoshi- The badass dinsoaur who is the leader of The Soviet Yoshis. He occasionally appears to kick AwesomeSeaCucumber's ass inside out.
- Drew Pickles- The gayest man in the universe who is the leader of The Barney Bunch. He sometimes appears to rape AwesomeSeaCucumber and company.
- Fatty Bear- Drew's arch-rival and the leader of The Humoungous Bunch. Even he thinks ASC is an asshole.